Category: Photos

New Year's Eve: Some Thoughts on Marriage, and Cookies

12/31/2013

My good egg, 12 years ago.

A friend asked me to repost in a more findable place. I'm honored that it seems to have resonated with folks. Please feel free to share. Here goes --

Some thoughts on marriage, and cookies:

So I made cookies. (By which of course I mean that I baked the portion of dough that was not in my tummy.) And some of them came apart from cooking sheet to cooling rack, because they were so yummy/gooey. So I said to my hubs, "If you eat any, eat the broken ones."
And then I was like, Wait a second. This is my partner. This is the person who puts up with my ridiculousness every day, and makes me laugh more than anyone else on the planet, and is generous to me when I am a total shit. I literally trust this person with my life, and with my child's life. Why am I telling him to eat the broken cookies?

So I paused Netflix and told him, "You know what? You are my favorite person in the world. Eat the very best ones."

And I guess my Christmas (New Year's) Eve marriage/cookie message is this: We're all ridiculous people. We're only here a very, very short time. If you're lucky enough to find someone who wants to spend every day (and night) with you, and that person still manages to love you? Pause Netflix, tell them what a good egg they are, and by all means, let them have the very best cookies.

I detest having my picture taken

4/16/2013

But I saw on the neighborhood listerv that local photog Jessica Arden was offering 'mini-sessions' at my neighborhood park. So I had a cocktail and made myself go. And it was only half as awful as I thought it'd be. Kidding. Jessi actually made it *fun.* And there are some photos I actually ... gulp ... like. What do you think?

Dear Teen Me

11/8/2012

So I opened up my soul and poured it into a letter to my teenage self and wrote this for the Dear Teen Me website.

And now that it's out there, I kind of can't believe I put it out there on the interwho.

Which is a good indicator of just how honest it is.

Click this link to go to the letter.

Why I took the summer off from Facebook

9/20/2012

   The time: June 2012. The place: St John, USVI.
   I'm in an island paradise, sipping a drink, staring at this four-foot-long iguana staring back at me, and instead of thinking, Wow. What a cool creature. Or, I'm a lucky girl. Or [Zen lack of thoughts, Be Here Now]," I'm thinking, I can't believe the wireless is down! I need to get a photo of this on Facebook, stat!
   And then I said: "Facebook, I need a break. It's not you, it's me." Four reasons:

A GOOD TIME, DEFERRED.
Instead of soaking up paradise, my brain space is in POSTING about soaking up paradise. And that, doodles, is problematic. Because --
WHO'S IT ALL FOR, ANYWAY?
The thing I love about Facebook is that, in a single post, I can connect with my best friend from Kindergarten (that's you, Loop), my college housemate (holla, Wolpert), and my current across-the-street neighbors (what up, Wegerzyns?).
The thing that's dangerous, for me, about Facebook, is that I sit on a Caribbean island and think about sharing it with my best friend from Kindergarten, my college housemate, and my across-the-street neighbors. Meanwhile I'm missing the point of being on vacation, which is Be Here Now and relax and laugh with my family (notice that I haven't even mentioned them yet? Yeah, they were there. Thus the danger of Facebook.) and be, you know, in the moment. Which leads me to danger number three:
HIGHLIGHT REEL VS. BEHIND THE SCENES FOOTAGE.
     Another frightening thing about Facebook is --for people like me, who fall victim to the tenth circle of hell, aka: Comparing Yourself To Others-- how, in one check of FB, you are the most boring and lame person on the planet. (My husband, being a generally mentally healthier person than me, does not have this problem. I aspire to his level of normalcy.)
     Wow -- your baby got kissed by Michelle Obama?! Fantastic! You just spent four weeks in Amsterdam? Cool! Your first novel just won the National Book Award? Yay! You just had your third beautiful child in three years, without so much as an ibuprofen for a headache? I'm so happy for you!
     No really. I'm --- I'm really happy for you.
     And yes, I'm as guilty of it as the next person - posting cool highlights. And comparing myself to others.
     Anyhoo, full disclosure -- I'm writing this while I sit here in my sweat pants, chugging my second cup of coffee, answering emails and contemplating how I'm going to get my kid to do his schoolwork. And how dirty the kitchen is. And how I need to get a ton of work done before I make some lame attempt at "research" by watching Die Hard while I do the same workout DVD I did yesterday. And the day before. And the day before.
     The thing is, as my cousin pointed out (great pictures of your beautiful kids with that baboon in Thailand, by the way, Steph): you are comparing your behind-the-scenes footage with everyone else's highlight reel.
     And holy crap. I just did it again, posting that cool picture of the iguana. Dang. Brings to mind two great quotes:
     "It's a trap!" --Admiral Ackbar
     "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." --Eleanor Roosevelt.
WHAT PARTY?
Related. When, since high school (and high schoolers, if you're reading this, my heart goes out to you. It gets better.), did you get to hear ALL ABOUT THE RAGER OF A PARTY last weekend that ALL YOUR FRIENDS went to ... and you had no idea about because YOU WERE NOT INVITED and instead you stayed home watching Die Hard while doing a workout DVD.
Oh - I know when: THE LAST TIME YOU CHECKED FACEBOOK.

Actually, five reasons:
ELECTION YEAR.
     Echo chamber OR loony posts from people you never realized where so misguided. Need I say more?

WHAT I ACTUALLY DID MISS:
     So. I'm back to Facebook, now. Aren't you so happy? And I think, despite my all-caps ranting, I'm in a healthier place. I try to Be Here Now. And not compare so much. My friends are pretty amazing, and that is pretty awesome. Period.
     And here's what I did miss: the minutia of my friends' every day lives. As well as the super cool things they're up to. And what I most missed: the very best thing about Facebook: how in one fell swoop, I can hear from my best friend from Kindergarten (that's you, Loop), my college housemate (holla, Wolpert), and my current across-the-street neighbors (what up, Wegerzyns?).

DANCE, DANCE, DANCE. Or: a life without raw cookie dough is a life not worth living.

12/8/2011

My BFF Jen just sent me this photo from when we shared an apartment in college. I usually don't like photos of myself, but this one? Love. Because it pretty much sums up who I was, who I am, and who I (God willing) will continue to be. What I like about it:

1. Good friends. In the photo, I'm smiling not for the camera, but for Jen -- because she's an amazing person, and a phenomenal friend, and she had the thoughtfulness to take a picture of me "doing two of the things you love the most." (Mind you, this was 1994, before camera phones or even digital cameras, so it took some effort --"Wait right there, JJ! Don't move! I'll be right back!" -- for her to take this picture.) If you've got friends like this, you're blessed and lucky.

2. Dance. I'm stretching after rehearsals for a modern dance performance. Whether for performance or just getting my groove on, I heart dance.

3. Yummy food. Love me some num nums. In college, I had the good fortune to room with several women in possession of vibrant, healthy body images and good relationships with food. These women DO exist!

4. Also about the spatula dipped in batter: life's all about measured risk. Small risks, like eating raw eggs; large risks, like professing your love to the object of your affection. Someone wiser than me once said that you'll regret the things you didn't do in life more than the things you *did* do.

Take care, and take risks.A life without cookie dough (from scratch, mind you) is a life not worth living.

Take care, and take risks.

That about sums it up.

Norwich High School, Norwich, NY

5/25/2011

Awesome, if rather surreal, day giving an all-school assembly at my alma mater (and site of This Girl is Different).

Book Launch for This Girl is Different - Regulator Bookshop, Durham

4/27/2011