Frequently Asked Questions
I want to be a writer. How do I do that?
I get asked this question the most, so I wrote a whole separate page of advice.
I get asked this question the most, so I wrote a whole separate page of advice.
Why do you write about and for teens?
My soul age is fifteen. I’m always thinking about what it was like to be in high school in the late 80s/early 90s and what it's like to be in high school now.
Being a teenager is all about finding your own values and being true to yourself while also learning where you belong in your community/communities.
But when you’re a teenager, everything is ten times more intense. Teenage brains are wired to have that response, and that’s what you need to remember when you’re talking to teenagers and when you’re writing about teenagers.
The struggles are universal—they happen from the time you’re born to the time you die. It’s the intensity that sets this time apart.
My soul age is fifteen. I’m always thinking about what it was like to be in high school in the late 80s/early 90s and what it's like to be in high school now.
Being a teenager is all about finding your own values and being true to yourself while also learning where you belong in your community/communities.
But when you’re a teenager, everything is ten times more intense. Teenage brains are wired to have that response, and that’s what you need to remember when you’re talking to teenagers and when you’re writing about teenagers.
The struggles are universal—they happen from the time you’re born to the time you die. It’s the intensity that sets this time apart.
How did you find your publisher?
The old-fashioned way—I got an agent and then a publisher. I wrote and sent actual paper letters! About a year after finishing my first novel, I signed with an agent (Ginger Knowlton), and she sent the manuscript to multiple publishers. It took about four more years to get a publisher. I wrote my second book while I was waiting. So it’s a long process. You must cultivate patience and get used to rejection if you want to be an author.
The old-fashioned way—I got an agent and then a publisher. I wrote and sent actual paper letters! About a year after finishing my first novel, I signed with an agent (Ginger Knowlton), and she sent the manuscript to multiple publishers. It took about four more years to get a publisher. I wrote my second book while I was waiting. So it’s a long process. You must cultivate patience and get used to rejection if you want to be an author.
Are you your main characters? Evie? Sarah? Jennifer?
I'm not Sarah from The Theory of Everything or Evie from This Girl is Different. But I share some of their best and worst traits. I am Jennifer from Believarexic, because it is an autobiographical novel. That's a little like saying it's “true make-believe," isn't it? It's a little confuzzling.
I think of it this way: imagine a sine wave (a squiggly, sideways, repeating S curve) drawn over a straight, horizontal line. Still with me? Okay. The straight line is what really happened. The squiggly line is Believarexic. The story follows the direction of the truth, and intersects with it a lot, but also… veers away.
What's real: I did go into inpatient treatment for “bulimarexia” in the winter of 1988-1989, when I was fifteen. My admission and discharge dates are real. The therapy sessions, rules, groups, and policies are real. The inner struggles are real.
What's not real: I exaggerated some elements, simplified or consolidated a few characters, and slid their timelines around a bit.
My intention in making these changes was to craft a better story, not to be deceptive or dishonest.
In the interest of transparency, I've published my real journal from my actual hospitalization on the Believarexic website.
I'm not Sarah from The Theory of Everything or Evie from This Girl is Different. But I share some of their best and worst traits. I am Jennifer from Believarexic, because it is an autobiographical novel. That's a little like saying it's “true make-believe," isn't it? It's a little confuzzling.
I think of it this way: imagine a sine wave (a squiggly, sideways, repeating S curve) drawn over a straight, horizontal line. Still with me? Okay. The straight line is what really happened. The squiggly line is Believarexic. The story follows the direction of the truth, and intersects with it a lot, but also… veers away.
What's real: I did go into inpatient treatment for “bulimarexia” in the winter of 1988-1989, when I was fifteen. My admission and discharge dates are real. The therapy sessions, rules, groups, and policies are real. The inner struggles are real.
What's not real: I exaggerated some elements, simplified or consolidated a few characters, and slid their timelines around a bit.
My intention in making these changes was to craft a better story, not to be deceptive or dishonest.
In the interest of transparency, I've published my real journal from my actual hospitalization on the Believarexic website.
Are the other characters based on real people?
Yes and no. Ruby was a real dog, although I changed her colors a little in The Theory of Everything. Like Ruby in the book, she was the perfect combination sweet and ferocious. She was hurt as a stray, and it took her a while to warm up to people. She hated going to the vet. She brought me lots of possums. Sadly, she died of cancer in November 2011. (Photo at top of page) Hannah Bramble, from This Girl is Different, was a real cow. She was my husband’s jersey cow when he was growing up. My mother-in-law answered lots of my questions about her and helped me with details. I have milked a cow, so that's based on my own experience. The human characters in This Girl is Different and The Theory of Everything are fictional. Mostly. Some of the minor characters are named after friends, and some are named after the characters in books written by my critique group. Otherwise, no. They’re not real people. Although some of them remind me of people I’ve known. Someone once said that a writer doesn’t write what she knows about specific humans; she writes what she knows about human nature. That sums it up perfectly. Believarexic is different. Those characters ARE based on real people. But keep in mind: I simplified or consolidated a few characters, and slid their timelines around a bit. I changed everyone's name except for Kelly and my family. But Sophia is real. Nurse Chuck is real. Doctors Prakash and Wexler are real. My first roommate: very real. |
Your first three books take place in the same town, right?
Good noticing! Yes. It's a fictionalized version of my hometown in central New York State: Norwich, population 7500. People hear "New York" and they think "New York City," but central New York State is the countryside - small towns, rolling hills, old deciduous forests, and dairy farms. It is beautiful. Evie’s homestead in This Girl is Different is based on the land where my husband grew up, in a rural area outside of Ithaca. The opening scene, where Evie is literally up a creek, is Lick Brook (that's me hiking Lick Brook, above), one of my favorite gorge hikes in Ithaca. Sarah in The Theory of Everything spends a lot of time on West Hill - a real place in Norwich. In Believarexic, Jennifer starts out in Norwich but quickly spends most of her time at the Samuel Tuke Center (not its real name) in Syracuse (a real upstate city). |
Are you working on a new book?
Yes.
Yes.
Do you have a say in what your book covers look like?
Yes. I do, but only because I have an unusually awesome publisher. Most authors have very little, to absolutely zero, say in what their book covers look like. You can read an interview I did about the cover of This Girl is Different here.
Yes. I do, but only because I have an unusually awesome publisher. Most authors have very little, to absolutely zero, say in what their book covers look like. You can read an interview I did about the cover of This Girl is Different here.
I have questions for a school assignment that you haven't answered so far. Can I contact you with my questions?
I love emails from readers! But. Prepare yourself for a very harsh reality: I do not answer questions for school assignments. Why? Because:
I love emails from readers! But. Prepare yourself for a very harsh reality: I do not answer questions for school assignments. Why? Because:
- I receive too many school-assignment questions to be able to answer all of them,
- If you waited for my responses, your assignment would be waaaaay overdue, and-
- Honestly? It's a little unrealistic to expect an author to answer questions for your assignment. Look, I love and appreciate my readers. I have no doubt that you are an awesome, brilliant, fantastic human being. That's why I'm being real with you, looking in your eyes, and telling you that you'll learn a lot more by doing your own work.
What's the story behind This Girl is Different?
I’d just finished writing The Theory of Everything (which was actually published after TGID) and, after spending so much time with cynical, introverted, snarky Sarah --who, don't get me wrong, I LOVE-- I wanted to tell a story with a girl who was, well, different. Evie, our heroine in This Girl is Different, is self-sure, quick to laugh, generous, and makes no bones about her crusade to change the world. She’s all about justice, this girl.
So I threw Evie into Sarah’s old stomping grounds. Take someone who’s never stepped inside a school and see what the place looks like through her eyes. What are the first things she’d notice? How would Evie’s view differ from the other kids’? So many of us who’ve been somewhere forever, like going K-12 through public school, you get so used to it you stop seeing it altogether.
I also wanted to explore the notion of Freedom of Speech. You hear Americans talking about it all the time, the Right to Free Speech, like it means you can say whatever you want, period. End of story. Except, when you’re a human being in relationships with other human beings, it’s NOT the end of story. Your words have consequences. So I put Evie in a situation where she would do the brave thing and speak up for justice, and the responses would basically kick her ass. What would she do? How would she handle it?
Bullying is a hot topic right now, and the anonymity of the internet is making a bad thing worse. Things can go from ‘Freedom of Speech’ to hateful, hurtful bullying, and it can happen pretty damned quick. Even though that’s the last thing a girl like Evie would want.
And then there’s love. I love writing about love! Evie falls hard and fast for Rajas, and that is so cool. She’s super aware of power dynamics--as we know from her perceptions about school and a certain teacher!--but how does a strong girl handle it when love turns her knees to jello? What does strength mean, when it comes to falling in love? Does it mean being stubborn, always standing your ground? Does it mean allowing yourself to be vulnerable? Does it mean compromise? These are big questions for anyone, at any time of life.
I’d just finished writing The Theory of Everything (which was actually published after TGID) and, after spending so much time with cynical, introverted, snarky Sarah --who, don't get me wrong, I LOVE-- I wanted to tell a story with a girl who was, well, different. Evie, our heroine in This Girl is Different, is self-sure, quick to laugh, generous, and makes no bones about her crusade to change the world. She’s all about justice, this girl.
So I threw Evie into Sarah’s old stomping grounds. Take someone who’s never stepped inside a school and see what the place looks like through her eyes. What are the first things she’d notice? How would Evie’s view differ from the other kids’? So many of us who’ve been somewhere forever, like going K-12 through public school, you get so used to it you stop seeing it altogether.
I also wanted to explore the notion of Freedom of Speech. You hear Americans talking about it all the time, the Right to Free Speech, like it means you can say whatever you want, period. End of story. Except, when you’re a human being in relationships with other human beings, it’s NOT the end of story. Your words have consequences. So I put Evie in a situation where she would do the brave thing and speak up for justice, and the responses would basically kick her ass. What would she do? How would she handle it?
Bullying is a hot topic right now, and the anonymity of the internet is making a bad thing worse. Things can go from ‘Freedom of Speech’ to hateful, hurtful bullying, and it can happen pretty damned quick. Even though that’s the last thing a girl like Evie would want.
And then there’s love. I love writing about love! Evie falls hard and fast for Rajas, and that is so cool. She’s super aware of power dynamics--as we know from her perceptions about school and a certain teacher!--but how does a strong girl handle it when love turns her knees to jello? What does strength mean, when it comes to falling in love? Does it mean being stubborn, always standing your ground? Does it mean allowing yourself to be vulnerable? Does it mean compromise? These are big questions for anyone, at any time of life.
Evie's DOME HOME is cool! Do you live in a dome?
I love Evie's dome home too. But no, I don't live in one. I live in a small brick house in an old neighborhood in Durham, North Carolina. You can see a bit of it in my Little Free Library photo. Like Evie, I'm fascinated with sustainable design, and I love to build things. Some time ago, I stumbled upon -and fell in love with- the eco-living dome kits available from Pacific Domes, which is what Evie and Martha used to build their abode. |
Why did you start each chapter with an epigraph?
I wanted to set the tone for each chapter, and I wanted to (re-)introduce readers to some amazing people, elevate the story into a bigger realm. And I've collected quotes since I was a kid. My walls are practically plastered with them.
I wanted to set the tone for each chapter, and I wanted to (re-)introduce readers to some amazing people, elevate the story into a bigger realm. And I've collected quotes since I was a kid. My walls are practically plastered with them.
The teacher-student affair in This Girl is Different seems realistic. Did you have an affair with a teacher?
Definitively, no.
Definitively, no.
Did you ever work on a Christmas tree farm?
No. But after college, I was blessed to have a wonderful and very healing friendship with the kindest of carpenters. He knew how to do just about anything, and taught me how to change the oil in my car. He trusted me with all kinds of tools and expected me to be capable. It meant a lot.
No. But after college, I was blessed to have a wonderful and very healing friendship with the kindest of carpenters. He knew how to do just about anything, and taught me how to change the oil in my car. He trusted me with all kinds of tools and expected me to be capable. It meant a lot.
I'm readingThis Girl is Different for school. Do you have discussion questions or ideas for essays?
Yes. Right here. And thank you for reading!
Yes. Right here. And thank you for reading!
Where can I read more of your thoughts about This Girl is Different?
Here's an interview I did with Indy Week. And here's one from That [Book]Cover Girl.
Here's an interview I did with Indy Week. And here's one from That [Book]Cover Girl.
What's the story behind The Theory of Everything?
When I was thirteen, a friend of mine was hit by a car and died. I’ve always thought about how the death of a friend can really send your worldview into a tailspin, especially when you are a teenager. A lot of grown-ups really don't understand how devastating it can be, and how long grief can last. So I had been holding that in my heart for a long time.
Then one day I saw a van in the driveway of a house around my corner. The van said "Aftermath Cleaners." There had been a murder in that home. I was gutted. Who had lived in there? What happened? What would a job like that -- cleaning up death or murder scenes -- be like?
Just after that, I turned the corner and came up my own driveway. My dog, Ruby, was wagging her tail. She pointed her muzzle to something she was very proud of: a dead possum. She had killed it and left it for me.
Suddenly everything coalesced in my mind. The threads of the story started to intertwine.
When I was thirteen, a friend of mine was hit by a car and died. I’ve always thought about how the death of a friend can really send your worldview into a tailspin, especially when you are a teenager. A lot of grown-ups really don't understand how devastating it can be, and how long grief can last. So I had been holding that in my heart for a long time.
Then one day I saw a van in the driveway of a house around my corner. The van said "Aftermath Cleaners." There had been a murder in that home. I was gutted. Who had lived in there? What happened? What would a job like that -- cleaning up death or murder scenes -- be like?
Just after that, I turned the corner and came up my own driveway. My dog, Ruby, was wagging her tail. She pointed her muzzle to something she was very proud of: a dead possum. She had killed it and left it for me.
Suddenly everything coalesced in my mind. The threads of the story started to intertwine.
The grief in The Theory of Everything feels real. Did you experience the death of a friend when you were a teenager?
Yes. As I said, a close family friend was hit and killed by a car while she was crossing the street. She was ten, I was thirteen. The experience of grief in The Theory of Everything is real. The characters, relationships, plot, and details are fiction.
Yes. As I said, a close family friend was hit and killed by a car while she was crossing the street. She was ten, I was thirteen. The experience of grief in The Theory of Everything is real. The characters, relationships, plot, and details are fiction.
I love the chapter openings. Did you think of the charts and graphics yourself? Did you draw them or was it an illustrator?
Thank you! I thought them up and drew them, and then my publisher's illustrator re-drew them for publication. She did a fantastic job. I couldn't be happier with how it all turned out.
Thank you! I thought them up and drew them, and then my publisher's illustrator re-drew them for publication. She did a fantastic job. I couldn't be happier with how it all turned out.
Do you love Star Wars as much as Sarah does in The Theory of Everything?
Yes. The original trilogy was a huge part of my childhood. I was four when my parents took my brother and me to see A New Hope on opening night. I will never, ever forget watching that opening scene. (I'm still scared of Darth Vader.) In my twenties, I went through a huge Star Wars books phase. Reading those novels was my favorite guilty pleasure. I recently went back and counted, and I was astonished (and a little embarrassed) to learn that I've read... not one... not ten... but seventy-seven Star Wars novels. Seventy-seven! To answer your next question: yes. Just like Sarah, the text message alert on my phone is Chewbacca. |
Where can I read more of your thoughts about The Theory of Everything?
Here's an interview I did with Hollywood the Write Way.
Here's an interview I did with Hollywood the Write Way.
What's the story behind Believarexic?
My editor and I were kicking around ideas for my next novel. I told her I still had all my old journals and letters from when I stayed at an in-patient Eating Disorder Unit (EDU), and I could use them to write a book. I don't think either of us had any idea what it would lead to, or how difficult the process would be.
My editor and I were kicking around ideas for my next novel. I told her I still had all my old journals and letters from when I stayed at an in-patient Eating Disorder Unit (EDU), and I could use them to write a book. I don't think either of us had any idea what it would lead to, or how difficult the process would be.
The novel is very personal, with your relationships with friends and family described in detail. How did they feel about that?
So, yeah, I used the real names for my mother, father, brother, and my best friend, Kelly—with their permission. (All other names were changed.) Kelly was easy; she’s ready for fame. But my family—writing about them was intense. For the book to feel authentic, I needed to be honest and real, and not hold anything back. But doing that can be brutal. I didn’t want to hurt them; I’ve already put them through a lot! But my parents read every draft, and have been unwaveringly supportive and good-humored. Their generosity is deeply humbling.
So, yeah, I used the real names for my mother, father, brother, and my best friend, Kelly—with their permission. (All other names were changed.) Kelly was easy; she’s ready for fame. But my family—writing about them was intense. For the book to feel authentic, I needed to be honest and real, and not hold anything back. But doing that can be brutal. I didn’t want to hurt them; I’ve already put them through a lot! But my parents read every draft, and have been unwaveringly supportive and good-humored. Their generosity is deeply humbling.
There are plenty of books about eating disorders. Why write another one?
- The title itself points to the fact that eating disorders are about more than disordered eating. I think a lot of existing novels don't convey that message. To me, eating disorders are about belief in ourselves and our connections to others.
- Believarexic is 100 percent focused on recovery. I've seen a lot of novels and memoirs that are much more focused on the illness stage of the disorder, which basically turns them into how-to manuals for eating disorders. I was very, very careful not to do that with Believarexic. I never mention specific weights--whether diet "target" weights or maintenance ranges--nor do I ever discuss tricks or strategies for purging or restricting food.
- I think an inpatient setting is just a very fascinating world.
- The 1980s! Who doesn't love the 80s?
Did you recover? Do you still struggle with your eating disorder?
I fully recovered from bulimarexia, and I consider myself 99.7 percent recovered from believarexia. That tiny 0.03 percent represents the occasional day when I doubt or feel bad about myself. Like everyone, I'm perfectly imperfect. I did have some e.d. relapses, which you can read more about on the Believarexic website.
I fully recovered from bulimarexia, and I consider myself 99.7 percent recovered from believarexia. That tiny 0.03 percent represents the occasional day when I doubt or feel bad about myself. Like everyone, I'm perfectly imperfect. I did have some e.d. relapses, which you can read more about on the Believarexic website.
Where can I read more of your thoughts about Believarexic?
Here's an interview I did with Bull Spec. And here's one on Peachtree's blog.
Here's a time-travel letter on Dear Teen Me.
I wrote a piece for librarians, parents, and carers in School Library Journal.
And Believarexic has its very own website, with lots of goodies and information, here.
Here's an interview I did with Bull Spec. And here's one on Peachtree's blog.
Here's a time-travel letter on Dear Teen Me.
I wrote a piece for librarians, parents, and carers in School Library Journal.
And Believarexic has its very own website, with lots of goodies and information, here.
I read Believarexic and I think I have an eating disorder. What should I do?
PLEASE. GET. HELP.
I’m not kidding.
If you have even just a glimmer of a spark of a thought that you maybe might have an eating disorder, then your eating is disordered enough to need help. The end. Full stop. No arguments.
You may think your eating disorder is not “bad enough” for treatment. Or, you know you have an e.d., but you think you need it as a core identity. Or you may think there’s no hope, you’re too far gone. Or you think “ana” or “mia” are your friends. They are NOT your friends. They are conniving, backstabbing bitches.
No, no, no no no. There is SUCH A BETTER LIFE FOR YOU.
Recovery is possible. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. I promise.
Say something to someone.
Write a note.
Send an email.
Make a phone call.
Try a guidance counselor, minister or rabbi, teacher, parent, guardian, 12-Step meeting, or eating disorder hotline.
AND DON’T YOU DARE STOP REACHING OUT UNTIL YOU GET THE HELP YOU NEED.
The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA)
has a free online chat Helpline at http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/find-help-support and a free, confidential phone Helpline: 1-800-931-2237. They can connect you to local help, as well.
Eating Disorders Anonymous (EDA)
is a 12-Step program with meetings online, over the phone, and/or in your town. Please go to http://www.eatingdisordersanonymous.org/meetings.html for information. The only requirement for EDA membership is a desire to recover from an eating disorder. Meetings are always free. (These meetings were invaluable to me in the early days of my recovery.)
HelpGuide.org
has trustworthy information about eating disorders and an online screening tool for eating disorders. It also has excellent advice about HOW to ask for help, and how to start helping yourself in the meantime.
I KNOW YOU THINK YOU CAN’T OR SHOULDN’T ASK FOR HELP. BUT YOU CAN. AND YOU SHOULD.
I believe in you. I think you’re smart and awesome.
I want to see you shine again.
I want you to be able to think about something other than food and weight.
I want your life to expand in good directions.
What are you waiting for? Take that leap of faith. Trust that you’ll grow wings when you do.
I’ll be right here cheering for you.
Xoxo,
J. J.
PLEASE. GET. HELP.
I’m not kidding.
If you have even just a glimmer of a spark of a thought that you maybe might have an eating disorder, then your eating is disordered enough to need help. The end. Full stop. No arguments.
You may think your eating disorder is not “bad enough” for treatment. Or, you know you have an e.d., but you think you need it as a core identity. Or you may think there’s no hope, you’re too far gone. Or you think “ana” or “mia” are your friends. They are NOT your friends. They are conniving, backstabbing bitches.
No, no, no no no. There is SUCH A BETTER LIFE FOR YOU.
Recovery is possible. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. I promise.
Say something to someone.
Write a note.
Send an email.
Make a phone call.
Try a guidance counselor, minister or rabbi, teacher, parent, guardian, 12-Step meeting, or eating disorder hotline.
AND DON’T YOU DARE STOP REACHING OUT UNTIL YOU GET THE HELP YOU NEED.
The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA)
has a free online chat Helpline at http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/find-help-support and a free, confidential phone Helpline: 1-800-931-2237. They can connect you to local help, as well.
Eating Disorders Anonymous (EDA)
is a 12-Step program with meetings online, over the phone, and/or in your town. Please go to http://www.eatingdisordersanonymous.org/meetings.html for information. The only requirement for EDA membership is a desire to recover from an eating disorder. Meetings are always free. (These meetings were invaluable to me in the early days of my recovery.)
HelpGuide.org
has trustworthy information about eating disorders and an online screening tool for eating disorders. It also has excellent advice about HOW to ask for help, and how to start helping yourself in the meantime.
I KNOW YOU THINK YOU CAN’T OR SHOULDN’T ASK FOR HELP. BUT YOU CAN. AND YOU SHOULD.
I believe in you. I think you’re smart and awesome.
I want to see you shine again.
I want you to be able to think about something other than food and weight.
I want your life to expand in good directions.
What are you waiting for? Take that leap of faith. Trust that you’ll grow wings when you do.
I’ll be right here cheering for you.
Xoxo,
J. J.